We all know the routine. The alarm goes off. Time is scarce. Gotta get up, out of bed, hit the shower and grab a quick bite to eat before heading off to another hard day of work.
Have you ever wanted to save valuable time each morning by killing two birds with one stone? Have you ever desired to, using a single device, set an alarm and toast your bread simultaneously?
Well, now you can, pilgrim…by using the Amazing Toaster Alarm Clock.
True to its name, the Toaster Alarm Clock can toast bread, bagels, Kellogg’s PopTarts and even the occasional Eggo.
But did you know that your typical, lowly Toaster can also function as an alarm clock?
That’s right, kids, you too can turn your Mom & Dad’s grimy old toaster into a semi-functioning alarm clock in just a few easy steps.
Just follow the directions below:
- Take your toaster, crumbs-in-the-bottom-of-the-tray and all, and position it on the floor next to your bed.
- Take two slices of frozen bread and insert them into the toaster’s toasting slots.
- Choose your desired wake-up time: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 or 7 (options may vary from toaster to toaster).
- Plug in the toaster.
- Press the toaster plunger, thus causing the bread to descend deep within the toaster’s body and also (importantly) automatically setting the alarm.
That’s it!
Your sleep is now toast!
You may wish to experiment with different alarm settings for rare, medium and well-done.
Enjoy the invigorating scent of freshly toasted toast as you’re awakened each morning by the dulcet tones of your toaster’s own spring lever alarm functionality.
But if you’re interested in a snooze function, be sure to have plenty of extra bread handy.
Here at Online Clock, we wish you pleasant dreams and…bon appetit.
Your Sleep Is Toast!
Disclaimer For the Intellectually Challenged: This particular blog post, though containing small morsels of truth, is intended as a parody. Please refrain from toasting in bed. Also: please use a real alarm clock for maximum results.
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