Ralph darted through the hedges to his neighbor’s house just minutes before 7:00 a.m. After picking up Jim’s newspaper and opening the door, 8-year-old Ralph strolled through the house and up the stairs to Jim’s room. Jim was lying face-down on his bed, still snoring deeply when Ralph smacked him squarely in the nose with the paper. “Hey! Mr. Jones! Wake up!” Ralph smacked him again several times until Jim sleepily rubbed his eyes, sat up, blinked a few times and then reached for his wallet. He pulled out a crisp dollar and gave it to the boy. A second later, Ralph was running down the stairs saying “Thanks! See you tomorrow at the same time!” “See you tomorrow,” Jim replied, as he rose from bed and began preparing for work.
What’s wrong with this story?
First of all, who would pay someone to sneak into their own house to wake them up by getting smacked with a newspaper? Surely there is a better way, one would think. But perhaps Jim sleeps so soundly that paper-smacking is the only effective method. Of course the next question that comes to mind is “Why doesn’t Jim get an alarm clock?” That brings us to the point of this discussion: what would we do without alarm clocks? Suppose a person doesn’t like alarm clocks or has something against them; or suppose that there were no such things as alarm clocks, but we had silent wall clocks precise enough that our life’s responsibilities demanded we wake up and be on time for work or our appointments. Some people sleep more deeply than others, so there definitely would be a variety of wake-up methods. What would they be like?
Those who love their dogs may find that man’s best friend would also be man’s best helper. By taking a walk early in the morning with the dog every day for a couple of months, the owner would find the dog starting to expect that. Suppose after two months of morning walks the owner threw out his alarm clock. Now instead of waking up to beeping, he is awakened by a barking, whining or overly-enthusiastic furry friend plastering him with slobbery dog kisses.
Some people may be allergic to dogs, so that wouldn’t work for them. For parents with small children an easy answer would be provided. Small children often wander into their parents’ room during the early morning hours demanding attention, a toy, breakfast or a drink of water. Children are usually fairly consistent with their waking times, so a parent could feasibly sit the child down and explain how important it is to wake the parents early in the morning.
College students living in a dorm could simply start sleeping on the couches in the lobby. Usually as morning hours approach, enough traffic passes through the lobby that the student would have an easy time waking up from the noise. Of course it is important to go check in the mirror before going to class; nothing could be worse than showing up to class only to have the entire lecture hall turn and laugh because the couch dweller’s fellow dorm students have decided to practice their artistic facial “makeup” skills with magic markers.
People who live alone may not have small children or an eager pet to wake them; however many people who live alone enjoy drinking coffee, so buying a timed coffee maker is another option. By setting the coffee maker to brew about 1/2 hour before the desired time to rise a person could enjoy waking up to the smell of coffee, freshly brewed and ready to drink. Another self-timed option lies in televisions; people may choose to set the timer on a t.v to wake them up with a favorite show coming on at that hour.
Sometimes noise is the best thing to cause a person to wake up. Those who live in busy cities such as New York City, where the garbage truck comes every morning, could simply leave their window open and allow the city noises of the early morning to wake them. Unless visits from curious, food-seeking pigeons are desired in order to wake up the sleeper, it would also be important to have a screen over the open window. People who live in cities where noise is considered pollution, such as Los Angeles, could hire the nearest aspiring musician in the neighborhood to wake them up with guitar solos, drums or singing.
Another factor that will cause people to wake up is bright sunlight. For those who need darkness to sleep, this would be the most effective solution. Simply removing curtains or buying sheer curtains for a window facing east would ensure that the person is awakened by the sun each morning.
One very reliable avian alarm is the rooster; batteries not required! These obnoxious-sounding birds would actually be a gem in a world with no alarm clocks. In the olden days these creatures often woke farmers at the start of the day. Now most cities will allow them as pets, so a person could actually buy one and utilize it to wake them up before dawn. We wish you lots of luck with your new house pet. Don’t forget to get a hen or two to go with it…think about all those fresh eggs!
Everyone has a natural clock, referred to as their circadian rhythms. These signals are supposed to be in close relation with our sleep schedules. Some people may be able to successfully develop a proper circadian rhythm cycle, allowing them to forgo an alarm clock.
Let’s face it though, most of us have hectic and irregular schedules; we may go to bed at 10:00 one night and stay out until 3:00 in the morning the next. By doing this we unbalance our natural circadian rhythms. Whether the solution is going to bed earlier, sleeping next to someone who snores too loud or sleeping with an oxygen mask on, everyone can think of ways to wake up without an alarm clock, should the need or desire to do this ever arise.
Hey, did we just write all of that? What do we want to do here, commit career suicide or something? After all, we run an online alarm clock, by golly, and we have an empire to support!
Of course these days, no one with a computer and an internet connection has to experiment with any of these methods of waking up without an alarm clock. Just point your web browser to OnlineClock.net, keep it open, and make sure that your computer, if you’re using a laptop doesn’t go into “sleep” or “hibernation” mode; also try to make sure that, if you’re using Windows, there will be no automatic reboot if Windows updates are set to install automatically (which we do recommend, to keep your computer safe!).
We hope you’ve learned a thing or two about waking up…both with and without alarm clocks. Now don’t get any funny ideas and start trying to go alarm clock-less on us.
We know where you live.
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